Rape.......................its so common??????????????

No regrets....no hassles men, who sexually assault, face the crowd as if nothing ever has happened or they did something worthwhile!!!!!!!!Perversion is present in every human being but it depends on the environment,surroundings and family background that the rapist succumbs to his dirty and cruel perversions....
A child if witness to sexual demonstrations of his elders are curious to try out what the elders do...he has no idea that its not to be done...he may try it out on  his little sister..or when grown a servant may lead him to various abuses....!!!!!!!!
Every act has limitations and a sense of privacy is needed. Emotions may lead yu haywire but be conscious of its after effects...be aware of surroundings,....do not be a victim of your own lust...public demontrations of romance maay be highly fashionablle to some but it is unfathomable to the public.

A priceless gem......no doubt...!!!

It was the beginning of another chapter in my life...April 1983...believe me it  was.!!!I realise it  in due time.After my poppa's death in the same year...with no decided aims as to what to do in my forthcoming years ...it was at this time that Prof Vilanilam(Head of the department of Journalism )paid us a visit along with one of our family members.After talking to mefor sometime he invited me  to join a post graduate course in communication at the University Centre,Karyavattom...My mom was too happy...since I would be in ''gud hands''.After an al lindia written exam...I managed to qualify.
Classes began in the month of November 1983.It was there that  my life changed....we were a class of 20-25 students many of whom were either already post -graduates or working newspaper personnel..Being born and brought up in a cosmopolitan soceity and exposed to different types of people it was no hard task to make friends.I soon had a circle of friends and ''followers''.Jyothir Ghosh ,a sub editor in Mathrabhoomi was my great friend and a big brother.Even though we had a lot of disagreements on many issues(he was a male chauvinist)...I realise today that he is a wonderful person...Then there was Shaji Vikraman..who was a great''kid''...but now is a successful young man...Liberty who was my hostel mate too...George kutty ,Biju(now in AIR)...Zoya (now Passport Officer)...and the most important person who became my parther for life....Renji Panicker. Renji was an arrogant,down to earth,intelligent person who made his presence felt.I was a bit scared of him becoz he was a strong SFI (I assosciated SFI.....with Naxalites.)...He was a typical keralite,male chauvinist who spoke too difficult malayalam ...a poet....a singer what nought!!!!Everyone  was awed by his talents even then.The main topic of debate amongst us was''male chauvinism''...leading me and him  to the altar...too early in life  with not a  penny to our name....Very frankly I have never  ever regretted marrying him...even though there have been many trying situations in our life together...mebbe the very fact that we were penniless wud have made us all the mor desperate at times....but to day 27 years later  I will always believe that Renji isa priceless gem...Being in a profession where I come across marital disharmony  every other day...I believe that he is a wonderful human being....he never tells me lies...which is his greatest asset.Avery commited ,humble and simple human being...who is a  wonderful father....Of course he does have his draw backs...but no man is perfect....I HAVE COMPLETED 1825 CASES OF MARRIAGE COUNSELLING CASES TILL TODAY. I have seen so many different types of personalities ....cruel.sadistic,sefish,irritating,sex-crazy men who make the woman's life miserable.....So Ladies be happy with the gem you have..polish it andmake it better....God is above all...entrust in Him.

It's leading you no where....!!!!!!!!

As the blog is aptly entitled''far away from the madding crowd''...I exsist faaaaaaaaaaar very far from the madding crowd..When once in a while I do feel the need to visit my home town ie surprisingly God's own country I pack my bags and am ready to leave on a jet plane.......I love the journey from Nungambakkam to Meenambakkam...check in at the Kamaraj ....have a lovely sandwich or a cookie....and wait in the lounge mebbe for a hour or two...Fly to Kochi...land there and then reach the ''Leela''...my husband's abode ...The first day is fun...next day too is great...mebbe the third day too....but later my ''inner self''  starts rejecting the ''wonderful'' environment...But I dont realiseor understand how I lived in ''God's own country from 1983 to 1999...I reward myself the noble prize for adjustment..if ever there is...!!!!From 1998 actually I was always travelling throughout India for my doctoral and post doctoral assignments...so it was a fine life then...And I suppose as my wonderful friend Anand says and I disagree its ''if there is a will there is a way''....I had a will then to hold on becoz my family was young and Ihad to stay on!!!!This is just a passing thought...not an insinuation against ''Kerala..or Kochi...or Chengannur''Talking about the town of Chengannur I loved the town when I was young...mebbe becoz of the lovely bakeries and the simplcity of the folks then...but now its just a hub of NRIs vying with each other for power,prestige and popularity..Anything will be done for money..sex and power...You name it...they do it...in the garb of politics ..pushpa melas...temple festivals etc...The ruling party whether the marxist or the Congress misuse power...the nameof the leaders and now social--networking sites...!!!!!!!!!It's really disheartening to watch all this from about 600-750kms far...that I belong to that state which makes montains out of mole hills...The mulla--periyar...sharad pawar...atheists...etc etc are not issues which shud dominate the Malayali's mind but...be a nice..humble...sincere....genuine..simple...sibling loving people....rather than ARROGANT...HYOCRITICAL...VENOMOUS....GOSSIP--PRONE....FULL OF SIBLING RIVALRY....limit your carnal desire to minimium ...otherwise yu will have to build many juvenile homes rather than expensive bungalows....!!!!

Come Saturday....I love to remember...!

Always Saturdays have been worth waiting ......It's the weekends that I awaited from my childhood....It was the rewarding end to a week of a tryst with school,heavy school suitcases and books!!!At La Martiniere,Kolkatta we did have school on Saturdays but when I came home Mummy would be there.She would open the door for me ....or she would be waiting at the bus-stop for me to come by the school-bus.Appa would be at home...On Saturdays it was market day for us.Early morning Appa used to go to the GariahatMarket...to buy the needs of the following week.I would wait for him to come back or at times I would accompany him...it was the potato chips that used to lure me to accompany him...Hot potato chips or salted plain were deliciously hot...and I would love to lean on the comfy sofa at home andhave them...!!!!Potato chips I used to love and I still do....I see to it that I buy a packet every week...!It's not the modern''LAYS'' or ''Pringles''...but the real ones...tasty and salty and also hot!!!!!!!
After coming back from school was another great event ...the three of us(Appa,Mummy and me )used to have lunch together..all the other weekdays it was just me alone on the dining table for a boring lunch served by servants!!!!!Saturdays had my mother serving food cooked by herself...mutton curry,''uralakizhingu mezhukupuratty''or potato fry....'''vazheka errissery ''or raw banana curry....''mor'' or buttermilk...and hot steaming rice.At times there would be my favourite caramel custard pudding!!The ''Saturday lunch '' menu used to differ from week to week but these were repeated often...Till the age of 20 ...till I lost my Appa...this was a must.Another interesting thing is Mummy always was sure I washed my hands before sitting for lunch with soap!!!!!!!!!
After lunch was the siesta with me disturbing the sleep of my dear ones by chatting away to glory or seeing to it that Appa hugged me and slept.We all got up by 5pm and was served tea ..and milk for me...with hot samosas from Binapani Mishti..!!!a nearby sweet shop.Then started the fun...we used to dress up and go out gallavanting!!It used to be either the Saturday Club or the New Market or a friend's or relative's house...or even to the Southern Lake.
New Market was the most exhilirating experience every time we visiteed that place.
''Rehman's'' was an all-available store..Nahoum's'' was the best confectionery where I used to buy my easter eggs and hot cross buns .Kargo's with their sizzling kebab's and rolls!!!The chinese shoe shops,home made cheese,dried fruits etc were also available there.The unique ''Aam Saath''..or Mango jelly was another not to be missed out.We would spend hours there smetimes buying books...or just window shopping.
After these visits used the Saturday dinner..at either the'' Tandoor'' or ''Jimmy's kitchen ''or ''Golden Dragon. ''or just snacks at the ''Gupta's'' or mebbe at ''Kwality's''.These were the easily available during our times there .Now of course there are numerous eat-outs.The Oberoi Grand ,Ritz..or The Park were too formal for us!!!!
By 10pm we would be tired and head home...with the night still young for many on Park Street..Usha Iyer crooning away at Trinca's ...or couples heading into Sub-Zero and cars lined up outside the Magnolia's was a common occurence on Saturday in Kolkatta.
Reaching home and flopping into bed was my only need at that moment....but Mummy used to make it sure I change into my night-pyjamas...I used to not like that one bit but I used to be an obedient daughter then!!!!!!!!!!!After a wash and change I used to crawl into the comfort of the quilt sharedby my Appa.Mind you it was uncomfortable for him but he loved me too much to lemme go...Drifting into a wonderful happy world of sleep where my Appa was with me I used to wake up only on Sunday morning with a good morning call from my dear parents!!!!!!!!Saturdays were lovely ....Iloved Saturdays...!!!!

A spicy funeral service....in Puthencavu Mathilakom Marthoma Church!!!

I had great regard for the church in our small village-Puthencavu.First being my grandparents and father were resting in peace there..secondly when I was young and in Kerala for my holidays ...I used to come for service here with my grandfather.Memories...fond memories !!!!Being brought up by devout christian parents...even after marrying a Hindu I used to frequent church every Sunday...but after 2003..I stopped..Attending a funeral service of a near relative at the church...I was sitting in the middle row of chairs...there were two elderly women near me who were talking in loud murmurs while the service was going on...topicof conversation was the parcel of spices their daughter had sent from the Gulf ...They said inspite of being busy and cooking meat with the spices they took time to come and view the body of the deceased...!!!!and they were planning to hurry back ..becoz otherwise the meat would be burnt!!!!!!!Sad....very sad that in the church ...a holy place....such conversations shud take place even when death was present!!!Another topic is that ...there is a Sevika Sangham in the church meeting every Wednesday...the women there gather to discuss family issuesand controveries rather than discuss about the scriptures...this is a matter of discussion among the other residents of the area...Sad...!!

Living alone............it's ....????

Are you crazy..Aneta????to be alone in Chennai..leaving your sons and husband in Kochi....????....or Aneta!!! this is called arrogance ....goin and staying ''alone'' in Chennai....!!!or as another well-wisher said ''ahankarathinu kaalum kaiyum vechuthu!!!''...These are the various comments I hear about me being ALONE in Chennai...!!!In Kerala there are too many ''well wishers''..among my relatives and friends!!!!I really am bewildered at their ''concern''!!!!
I have been married for the past 26 yrs and stayed in ''erstwhile Kerala'' playing the role of a mother,wife and daughter....!!!Born and brought up in the wonderful city of Kolkatta with all the frills and fancies of a Reserve Bank finanacial-analyst's daughter...I loved life till my 20th year...when Fate snatched my father away from me forcing me to return to the rural splendour of Kerala....leaving behind my life...love and career....from then it's been one rocky road....!!!!Relatives were never supportive fearing my mother and me would ask for gains,help and etc...!With all hopes of me clearing my IAS...shelved...continued to do my post graduation .At that point of time insecurity was the predominant feeling in my life...I never understood gossip,jealousy,back-biting.maliciousness...all this was bewidering and frightening me.Talking to a guy was a sin...!smiling was even a bigger sin...!!!!!!!!wearing salwars were ugh!!!....I just could not tolerate this...people were too bothered about you...why...why???Relatives in Chengannur (my home town..rather my mother's )were worried about my being not married!!!!at the age of 20!!!!!!If I had my way I would have told them to ......!!!!but I did not .Anyway after a year I luckily got married to an ''anya-jathi kaaran''....a Nair...It was the most unpardonable crime...My relatives and neighbours had a gala time gossiping...the Puthencavu Mathilakom church members were too bothered...but I CARED A DAMN....It was from the year 1985 that Ididn't bother about soceity ...and that too the Christian soceity in Chenagannur .....It was they who were bothered...mebbe becoz they had to please the ''LIVING GOD'.My sons were born...the Christians wanted to baptise them....they couldn't....Aneta was always a topic of controversy...I did not interfere in any one's affairs..now I am way beyond the reach of these believers of Christ...but still they do manage once in a while to gossip...I do give them room....otherwise their talents will be wasted!!!By the Grace of the Almighty my sons have successfully completed their education and my husband''the anya jathi kaaran ''has reached heights we have never dreamt about....It isbecoz of Renji's(my husband) humility,respect for elders and his commitment to his work,soceity and his parents and brothers!!!And his belief in the Almighty...living or non--living!!!!!!!!!!!.
My life too I have managed to organise and achieved a recommandable profile professionally...I looked after my sons till they were 21 yrs even at times setting aside my lyf too..as a wife I have done my level best by giving space to Renji...becoz I believe in each onehaving his or her own space...to breathe.As a daughter I am there at any time my mother calls me...as a friend too..to anyone who needs me....but I need space in my latter years of my life and a bit of independence to live my lyf as I want to...and therefore....I need to LIVE ALONE....it is exhilirating!!!!!!!!!!

Chikku's APPA....!!!

Appa was the best father I had ever seen....he stopped smoking becoz his''chiku'' prayed for him...His ''chiku'' believed that...and will always believe that...On the first of every month as far as ''Chiku's memories takes her ..sharp at 6pm...Appa used to ring the door bell waiting for ''chiku'' to open the door.From the age of say thrilling 3 to the wonderful 2o...every 1st of the new month used tobe fun for ''Chiku''...Appa used to stand beaming at the door..with two packets ....one was a Cadbury milk chocolate and the other Chiku's favourite ''moghlai porotta''...Chiku used to also get her pocket money...a bundle of new one rupee notes...amounting to 100 rupees....Appa never forgot ever...!!!Chiku was his only reason for the hard work and effort he put in ...at his work...!Never for once till he died did he scold his ''Chiku''...She used to tag along with him wherever he went..at times creating difficult situations..but Appa would never say NO..to Chiku...!!!!But Chiku never knew that she would lose her Appa to the cruel hands of Fate....when Chiku was just 20yrs....!!!When she needed him the most....Chiku was left alone in the hands of her loving mother....to face the cruel world outside....Chiku was no more....Aneta....the woman of today was born....who learnt to hate ...love...smile...cry....criticise....even if she never felt like....becoz she realised''life was not a bed of roses ''