Living alone............it's ....????

Are you crazy..Aneta????to be alone in Chennai..leaving your sons and husband in Kochi....????....or Aneta!!! this is called arrogance ....goin and staying ''alone'' in Chennai....!!!or as another well-wisher said ''ahankarathinu kaalum kaiyum vechuthu!!!''...These are the various comments I hear about me being ALONE in Chennai...!!!In Kerala there are too many ''well wishers''..among my relatives and friends!!!!I really am bewildered at their ''concern''!!!!
I have been married for the past 26 yrs and stayed in ''erstwhile Kerala'' playing the role of a mother,wife and daughter....!!!Born and brought up in the wonderful city of Kolkatta with all the frills and fancies of a Reserve Bank finanacial-analyst's daughter...I loved life till my 20th year...when Fate snatched my father away from me forcing me to return to the rural splendour of Kerala....leaving behind my life...love and career....from then it's been one rocky road....!!!!Relatives were never supportive fearing my mother and me would ask for gains,help and etc...!With all hopes of me clearing my IAS...shelved...continued to do my post graduation .At that point of time insecurity was the predominant feeling in my life...I never understood gossip,jealousy,back-biting.maliciousness...all this was bewidering and frightening me.Talking to a guy was a sin...!smiling was even a bigger sin...!!!!!!!!wearing salwars were ugh!!!....I just could not tolerate this...people were too bothered about you...why...why???Relatives in Chengannur (my home town..rather my mother's )were worried about my being not married!!!!at the age of 20!!!!!!If I had my way I would have told them to ......!!!!but I did not .Anyway after a year I luckily got married to an ''anya-jathi kaaran''....a Nair...It was the most unpardonable crime...My relatives and neighbours had a gala time gossiping...the Puthencavu Mathilakom church members were too bothered...but I CARED A DAMN....It was from the year 1985 that Ididn't bother about soceity ...and that too the Christian soceity in Chenagannur .....It was they who were bothered...mebbe becoz they had to please the ''LIVING GOD'.My sons were born...the Christians wanted to baptise them....they couldn't....Aneta was always a topic of controversy...I did not interfere in any one's affairs..now I am way beyond the reach of these believers of Christ...but still they do manage once in a while to gossip...I do give them room....otherwise their talents will be wasted!!!By the Grace of the Almighty my sons have successfully completed their education and my husband''the anya jathi kaaran ''has reached heights we have never dreamt about....It isbecoz of Renji's(my husband) humility,respect for elders and his commitment to his work,soceity and his parents and brothers!!!And his belief in the Almighty...living or non--living!!!!!!!!!!!.
My life too I have managed to organise and achieved a recommandable profile professionally...I looked after my sons till they were 21 yrs even at times setting aside my lyf too..as a wife I have done my level best by giving space to Renji...becoz I believe in each onehaving his or her own space...to breathe.As a daughter I am there at any time my mother calls me...as a friend too..to anyone who needs me....but I need space in my latter years of my life and a bit of independence to live my lyf as I want to...and therefore....I need to LIVE ALONE....it is exhilirating!!!!!!!!!!